Yesterday, I paused a movie I was watching to take a phone call from a friend. I had seen her a couple of hours before, so I thought something might be up. When she asked if I could talk I told her that I was watching a movie, but if she wanted to talk, the answer was YES.

So I listened to her and afterwards, she felt a lot better :)
AND I made her promise to turn off Facebook for the night ;)

Haven't done anything for the volunteer organisation yet, and they gave me this bag:

together with my children i made musical instruments of boxes and rice in such a way that two children who are severely handicapped could make music. (elastic bands to tie to a leg that can move a bit, and an elastic band for another child that can only move her index finger. We had a party yesterday and we knocked ourselves out. Everyone was radiantly smiling.

I think my experience with websites is the most appreciated until now... Today I helped wireframe another website again. Was fun and it looks like it will be beautiful!

Yesterday I went to a national mental health day meeting and gave smiles to people I did not know. This afternoon I'm gonna talk about giving some of my time away, at an organization for volunteers.

I had dinner before sangha with a friend and took up the bill, cause i know he doesn't have a lot at the moment.

I shared a beautiful (and to me very inspiring) song with friends

I gave my ex space to share in the sangha, without reacting

I gave myself space to just be

I allowed myself to be supported by my friends

Today, I share my office with a good friend who has the challenge of finishing her education. I help her not to be distracted too much by other things.

I helped someone set up a wordpress website, sometimes a little bit of hassle, but not to difficult. And I got this little painting as a present! Thank you!!

Deze week help ik iemand met het vertalen van haar boek in het Engels. Ik heb koffie gedronken met iemand die wat inspiratie nodig had. Iemand aangeboden te helpen die door haar rug is gegaan. En de deuren van mijn inspiratiehuiskamer open gezet voor mensen die hier een dagje wilden werken.

So what does it mean to give? And how do you give without wanting something back?

When I started this month I had the idea of doing something similar as in April, to give in many different creative ways. Every day something else and to someone else, preferably to people I don't know. And that it had to be relatively noticeable things, nothing huge, but relatively big, something you could tell somebody else about and it would be a story. Facebookable, likable, retweetable.

But then I realized two things.

First, this felt like the wrong intention. I shouldn't give in order to get the followers of the project to like it, I want to give to people who need it and can use it! It being liked has no function there.

Second thing I realized: I am tired (yes, I have to admit it!) and didn't have the energy to do this month like I wanted to. And when I tried I didn't give without wanting something back, because what I wanted back was the relief of having done my 'duty' of the day. I wasn't actually experiencing giving, I was experiencing tiredness, stress and a feeling of discontent with myself. Because I felt that what I was giving wasn't enough and I didn't know when it would be.

Change!!!!

Isn't it all about the little things? Didn't I discover that many times before this year? Why would it be any different now? If I want to experience giving, maybe I have to do every action with the idea of giving in my head. Not trying to get anything out of anything, just letting it be and giving it attention. So then all of a sudden I ended up talking with the cashier about her pain in her eye and she seems to enjoy talking about it, I gave compliments to the the cook for the great food, I gave lots of smiles to everybody on the street, I gave advise to someone who asked for it. And it all felt great!

And then I realized what I want to do. This month I want to be the most generous person I can possibly be. I want to be Ghandi, Mandela and Jesus combined (you're probably laughing, I know, maybe a little ambitious, but hey, gotta have goals! :-). What I mean is, I want to be giving, and with that I'll give.

Is this all a little bit to vague? Well, practically I figured I could offer my services to anybody who needs them. So what are the things I'm good at and who can I help with that? I made a little google docs document, with all I have to offer and people can contact me if they have requests. For instance, today I helped someone install wordpress on their server and tomorrow I'll meet someone to give advice about building a website as well. (Nobody requested a 'Dancing for people who normally need to be drunk to dance' workshop yet :-() But later this week I'll do some physical work, building a wooden floor. Fun!

The moral of this story? Small is good and give what you have. Don't try to be impressive, just try to be.

Een fles nepchampagne voor mijn buuf, die goed nieuws van het ziekenhuis heeft gekregen.